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Rules for Writing "Good"

Some Examples of Poor Writing in Self-Illustration:

1. Each pronoun should agree with their antecedent.
2. Between You and i, case is important.
3. A writer must be sure to avoid using sexist pronouns in his writing.
4. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
5. Don’t be a person whom people realize confuses who and whom.
6. Never use no double negatives.
7. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. That is something up with which your readers will not put.
8. When writing, participles must not be dangled.
9. Be careful to never, under any circumstances, split infinitives.
10. Hopefully, you won’t float your adverbs.
11. A writer must not shift your point of view.
12. Lay down and die before using a transitive verb without an object.
13. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
14. The passive voice should be avoided.
15. About sentence fragments.
16. Don’t verb nouns.
17. In letters themes reports and ad copy use commas to separate items in a series.
18. Don’t use commas, that aren’t necessary.
19. “Don’t overuse ‘quotation marks.’”
20. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (if the truth be told) superfluous.
21. Contractions won’t, don’t, and can’t help your writing voice.
22. Don’t write run-on sentences they are hard to read.
23. Don’t forget to use end punctuation
24. Its important to use apostrophe’s in all the right places.
25. Don’t abbrev.
26. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!
27. Resist Unnecessary Capitalization.
28. Avoid mispelllings.
29. Check to see if you any words out.
30. One word sentences? Eliminate.
31. Avoid annoying, affected, and awkward alliteration, always.
32. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
33. The bottom line is to bag trendy locutions that sound flaky.
34. By observing the distinctions between adjectives and adverbs, you will treat your readers real good.
35. Parallel structure will help you in writing more effective sentences and to express yourself more gracefully.
36. In my own personal opinion at this point in time, I think that authors, when they are writing, should not get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words that they don’t really need.
37. Foreign words and phrases are the reader’s bete noire and are not apropos.
38. Who needs rhetorical questions?
39. Always go in search for the correct idiom.
40. Do not cast statements in the negative form.
41. And don’t start sentences with conjunctions.
42. Avoid mixed metaphors. They will kindle a flood of confusion in your readers.
43. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
44. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
45. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
46. Be more or less specific.
47. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement, which is always best.
48. Never use a big word when you can utilize a diminutive word.
49. Profanity sucks.
50. Last but not least, even if you have to bend over backwards, avoid clichés like the plague.

Self-Referential Sentences

1. This sentence is false.
2. Chameleons can’t lie.
3. This sentence contradicts itself—or rather—well, no, actually it doesn’t.
4. Disobey this command.
5. This sentence contains exactly threee erors.
6. “This yields falsehood when appended to its quotation.” This yields falsehood when appended to its quotation.
7. What is it like to be asked, “What is it like to be asked, self-embedded in quotes after a comma?” self-embedded in quotes after a comma?
8. What is a question that can serve as its own answer?
9. In order to make sense of “this sentence,” you will have to ignore the quotes in “it.”
10. “‘No, I have decided to change my mind; when the triple quotes close, just skip directly to the period and ignore everything up to it.’”
11. A creux qui ne comprenment pas l’anglais, la phrase citee ci-dessous ne dict rien: “For those who know no French, the French sentence that introduced this French sentence has no meaning.”
12. Ask a self-answering question and get a self-questioning answer.
13. Exam in college: Write a question suitable for an exam in this course, and then answer it. Answer: Write a question suitable for an exam in this course, and then answer it.
14. What is a question that mentions the word “umbrella” for no apparent reason?
15. How far across the page will this question run?
16. Is this a rhetorical question, or is this a rhetorical question?
17. The following sentence is true; the preceding sentence is false.
18. This sentence refers to all sentences that do not refer to themselves.
19. Write a computer program that prints out a list of all programs that do not ever print themselves out. Will this program ever print itself out?
20. This sentence does in fact not have the property it claims not to have.
21. Reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of anyone removing this sentence.
22. It goes without saying that....
23. Proper writing—and you’ve heard this a million times before—avoids exaggeration.
24. Four score and seven words ago, this sentence hadn’t started yet.
25. This sentence would be seven words long if it were six words shorter.
26. because I didn’t think of a good beginning for it.
27. This sentence was in the past tense.
28. This sentence has contains two verbs.
29. This sentence contains one numeral 2 many.
30. A preposition this sentence ends in.
31. In the time it takes you to read this sentence, eighty-six letters could have been processed by your brain.
32. This is not a complete. Sentence. This either.
33. This sentence has cabbage six words.
34. This is to be or actually not two sentences to be, that is the question, combined.
35. It feels so good to have your eyes run over my curves and serifs.
36. This sentence is a !!! premature punctuator
37. This sentence, though not interrogative, nevertheless ends in a question mark?
38. This sentence has no punctuation semicolon the others do period
39. This hear sentince do’nt no inglish perty good.
40. If you meet this sentence on your paper, erase it.
41. This sentence verbs good, like a sentence should.
42. This sentence no verb.
43. I have nothing to say, and I am saying it.
44. I have nothing to do, and I am doing it.
45. Do you read me?
46. This prophecy will come true.
47. This sentence will end before you can say, “Jack Robi
48. Does this sentence remind you of Agatha Christie?
49. It is quite possible for people filled with self-doubt to recognize this trait in themselves, and to begin to doubt their own self-doubt.
50. I am not the subject of this sentence.
51. I am jealous of the first word in this sentence.
52. I am simultaneously writing and being written.
53. I am the thought you are now thinking.
54. I am thinking about myself right now.
55. I am the set of neural firings taking place in your brain as you read the set of letters in this sentence and think about me.
56. This inert sentence is my body, but my soul is alive, dancing in the sparks of your brain.
57. Do you think anyone has ever had precisely this thought before?
58. When you are not looking at it, this sentence is in Spanish.
59. I had to translate this sentence into English because I could not read the original Sanskrit.
60. If this sentence were in Chinese it would say something else.
61. If this sentence didn’t exist, somebody would have invented it.
62. If I had finished this sentence,
63. What if?
64. Cut me out, twist me, and glue me to form a Mobius strip, please.
65. This isn’t the sentence I had in mind when I wrote it.

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