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Jane has a shameful confession to make. She's just gone through bankruptcy.

"Poor Jane, what happened?" you might ask. Or, if you're less-than-charitable with your judgements, you might sneer, "That scumbag Jane—she never DID handle money well."

The truth is, Jane is a business owner, budgets well, keeps meticulous financial records, and has generated a decent living for over 15 years (immersed in an atmosphere in which 90% of all businesses fail within the first 2 years of start-up). The fact that Jane is also permanently disabled is probably immaterial, but serves only as comment on her character as a (nearly) self-sufficient and honorable woman of integrity even in difficult circumstances.

So, what the hell, Jane?

What the hell, indeed. Jane had it all precisely figured out on several elaborate spreadsheets. Revenue in, expenses out; what's left is Jane's "score." It looked good on paper; it worked well in real life. The name of the game was Cashflow: a two-way street with lots of activity and no drunk drivers . . .

…until someone introduced the intoxicating element of the introductory offer. "Sign up with us and get 1.9% APR for 6 months . . . thereafter, terms are reasonable, as outlined in our Contract." "Transfer your balances and we'll give you free interest for a year! Thereafter, terms are reasonable, per our Standard Contract." Gee, an offer Jane can't refuse! How 'bout that?

Only problem is, once the initial terms are satisfied, and the "Standard Contract" takes over, all hell breaks loose. Terms can be changed, interest rates skyrocket, and credit parameters are altered to suit any whim of the creditors. The Contract means nothing. NOTHING. It's a free-for-all. Creditors do what they want, when they want, in any way they want. It's like driving 80 mph on the Interstate with no exit signs, a defective odometer, and a brake-fluid leak.

Well, Jane's got Road-Rage! She's pissed, and she wants everyone to know it! She could have survived—even thrived—with her several credit accounts, had the "contracts" associated with said accounts embodied even a particle of trustworthiness.

So, if you think you want credit, PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING. These policies and actions are widespread and apparently acceptable within the industry, though, Jane can't for the life of her understand WHY what follows is not blatantly illegal. It SHOULD be. These policies victimize and defraud consumers, compounding inflation and accelerating recession.

You read the fine print—back and front—find the terms acceptible, and finally, you sign the contract. You can now breathe a sigh of relief because you believe you know the rules of the game going in, and you signed a CONTRACT for goodness sakes, so nothing major is likely to change . . .

WRONG!

Nearly all credit card issuers violated their initial agreements with me, by simply mailing me notification(s) of the fact that "enclosed herein is the new agreement, which revokes and supercedes any previous and existing agreement you may have signed." If a contract I sign can be capriciously rescinded at any time—a policy not revealed to the applicant at first signing—then there is in effect NO CONTRACT.

Fixed-rate credit accounts mean just that—the APR is fixed and can't be monkied with, unless the consumer defaults or violates the credit agreement in some way, which can then be penalized by a higher interest rate.

WRONG!

Most of my fixed-rate credit cards increased their interest rates significantly (sometimes all-at-once, sometimes over several months' period), and one jumped from 22% to 28%, even though I had made timely payments double to triple the minimum amount due. This is my reward for integrity and honor?

A credit card solicitation to open up an account with a value "up to" a certain amount usually means you will get that amount on your new credit card. And when you pay Express fees, you can expect to have your credit card in-hand within 3 days.

WRONG!

Three creditors promised credit lines "up to" $1000.00. Some had excessive annual fees; another included inflated fees for Express Delivery. A rational consumer knows that the "up to" phrase does not guarantee the top credit limit, but figures the high fees may be worth it anyway if the credit limit is sufficient. Upon receiving one of these credit cards three weeks after requesting "Express" service, the credit line was $200.00, from which the express delivery fee of $35.00 (ahem!—FedEx charges $9.95; what gives on the rate hike?) and an annual fee of $69.00 would be immediately subtracted, leaving a meager credit line of $96.00 remaining for the consumer's use . . . at 22.9% interest, of course (applied to the fees as well).

In the end, this creditor charged a disabled home worker $104.00 for the use of $96.00 at nearly 23% interest on both principal and fees. I don't believe I could find a more villainous example of financial rape if I searched for the next 20 years.

Credit card companies usually adjust their billing for holidays, and will forgive you if your payment is late over an extened weekend or seasonal holiday.

WRONG!

Most credit card issuers collect their payments through an independent payment/processing center that could be horrendously geographically removed from the creditor itself. These centers may or may not actually POST the payment for perhaps two weeks following actual receipt of your check. Some openly unscrupulous credit card companies have devised nearly-impossible-with-which-to-comply conditionals that make timely payments difficult ("must be received by 10AM on the Saturday before Veterans day," so that they may charge exorbitant "late fees," which amount to substantial income for the creditors. Under such circumstances, you have no legal recourse should a disagreement arise: It's their word against yours.

Once you've been granted credit at a stated limit, the only way that limit can be reduced is through your "charging" habits.

WRONG!

Several creditors, upon my missing two payments as I began the bankruptcy process, reduced my credit line to the point that not only were late fees levied, but now over-the-limit fees could be added to the insult. In one case, over $100 per month was added to my account, even after the creditor was notified of the bankruptcy process. And it can all be recorded on IRS bad-debt forms—a surreptitiously generated write-off that inflates the balance—while providing nothing of any value to anyone but the creditors themselves. Oink, OINK...

Late payments don't usually result in a penalty of any consequence. The creditors will forgive you if you have a good record with them.

WRONG!

The usual Late Fee charge is $29; accounts vary. One credit card company threatened to increase the annual percentage rate from 19.2% to 26.99% should I make two late payments within a six-month period, but increased their interest rates to 29.66% once those two late payments occurred. I double-checked the print—yep, that's what happened all right. Suuuuu-eeeeeee!

If there are signicant changes to a credit contract, you'll be informed of those changes well in advance of them taking effect. Also, if you don't use your credit card from the date of the notice, these new terms will not apply to previous charges to your card.

WRONG!

That was then—this is now. Contract changes may now cover your previous balance, as well as any new charges! Two credit card companies enclosed their change-in-terms notices with the monthly bill following the month in which the changes were scheduled to occur, thereby preventing any evasive action by the cardholder—an unconscionably sleazy maneuver, if ever I have witnessed one.

It is inconceivable that I will apply for a credit card ever again. I'd sooner die of my illness—alone and abandoned in a cold dark cave, bats devouring my eyes and defecating on my rotting, bloated tongue.

Consider the previously outlined atrocities with great care. Are you sure you want credit? Are you ABSOLUTELY sure?

Jane care. Jane ask you think hard before signing.